I feel very lonely and crazy. I'm usually alone in life, but haven't felt lonely...well, much. I pray obsessively, aggressively, on the morning buses to work and the afternoon ones home. Probably shouldn't call it prayer, though, it's so grasping.

I've done more unintentional hurting of beautiful people, through events I didn't ask for and my lack of wisdom in response to them, in the past two months than maybe in my whole life. And now have lost them. I probably mean less to them than they do to me. There's some comfort in that.

Maybe it's time to finally read "Winesburg, Ohio" all the way through. Not chicken out as the light starts to dim. Maybe, if I can do that, I'll be cured.