the decision shouldn't be left to unicorns, that's simply how it is

Am not sure why it took 25 years for me to notice.


I'm sorry, Proclaimers.

Ixtlali Samuel Banjo Jose Cuevas-Sullivan

was born and died on August 17, 2009,

at 19 1/2 inches, 6 pounds and 2 ounces.

I am not sure how this could be.

You were a very strong kicker.

And look at your hairline.

You still insist we pronouce

"Samuel" the Mexican way.

You craved me chocolate mint ice cream,

Will Ferrell movies

and smooth jazz.

Smooth jazz?

You have six names

so I think maybe you would have been a "more" and not a "less" type of person.

I wanted to play Queen for you, and show you the horses.

It would have been fun.

I wanted to fight for you but that is just

my story.

You have your own.

Your first name means "star" in Aztec and this is where I have placed you.

I hope you don't mind

North to the future.

A few days ago, my mom asked if I've been writing.

I said no.

Then, "I guess I could write about being pregnant, but..."

And trailed off midsentence, which I do a lot of these days.

I've always felt secretly smug about my ability to summon extradimensional communicative powers when needed. But am finding that, with the cruel humor of a misunderstood, disrespected goddess, pregnancy amps my awareness of & confidence in this, while also sapping me of it.

That's why you don't hear the choir you really should, from my mouth.

Eh -- mehh -- GEHH!!!!!!

What would Lauren Hutton do?

It is best to make up words in Scrabble (and, naturally, their definitions). I think so.


This morning:

zev: the number 10 in Hebrew

Selzfa: Zeus' wife's nickname

veawe: a polite address to a Spanish-speaking grandmother, when asking her to do something

Jtmuri: an ancient Central Asian tribe (the "j" is pronounced like a "y")

wewu: the name of a skin disease in Mayan (accent on the second syllable)

firny: the quality of a spot in a fossil where it is soft or goes to powder